Our Belated Birthday Presents to Naruto
by Kara Dennison
October 11, 2021
Naruto Uzumaki had a birthday yesterday… and, typical us, we just missed it. But don’t worry — we brought presents!
The little ninja that could has become a beloved character to all and an inspiration to many. And his legend lives on as his son Boruto continues to fight. All Naruto wanted was to become Hokage, and he got that. So what’s left to give him? Here’s our attempt at a gift list:
Being a ninja is crazy hard work. Training is hard, the written portion of the exams is killer… and you might die somewhere along the way. If there’s one thing any ninja — Naruto included — could use, it’s an all-expense-paid holiday. And a proper holiday. Not one of those that turns into a life-or-death mission as soon as you get there.
Now that he’s Hokage, that rings even truer. Running a ninja village isn’t just cool fights and pep talks. He needs an escape from all that ninja bureaucracy. Preferably with the entire family, so they can have some quality time. (Again. Not the kind of holiday that turns into an apocalyptic mission.)
There’s no point pretending. We know you’ve practiced jutsu at home. Which means you know how hard it is on your hands. Now imagine you have to do them for real, all the time, as part of your daily life. I don’t care how tough a ninja you are. Even Naruto could use some carpal tunnel protection.
It’s not as fun and exciting a gift as an all-expense-paid holiday to a hot spring or a beach. But good wrist support is the gift that keeps on giving. Besides, remember all that paperwork he has to do now? Dropping all those signatures will be a lot easier.
Is it obvious? Yes. Is it delicious? Also yes. Besides, when you know what someone loves best, there’s no shame in giving them more. And Naruto loves very few things more than he loves ramen.
Best of all, depending on where you shop, it can be a cheap gift. Our boy clearly likes just about any kind, which means you can pick up several packages for less than a quarter each. Even if you feel like splashing out for the occasion, it’s still not going to put too much strain on your wallet. And hey, if an edible gift that only costs a few bucks can make a kid this happy, who are we to argue?
Happy (belated) birthday, Naruto — here’s to many more.