Happy Friday, dear reader. We’re all going to die.

Everyone’s favorite shill for Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ sauce, the mass of synthetic flesh and bones we call Mark Zuckerberg, appeared from the digital netherworlds to deliver yet another frightening announcement. Thursday, at Facebook’s virtual reality and augmented reality conference, Facebook Connect, the recently freed Westworld host announced that the company will change its name to Meta—and will put extra focus on its virtual reality hellscape, the Metaverse.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about our identity as we begin this next chapter. Facebook is one of the most used products in the history of the world,” Zuckerberg said. “It is an iconic social media brand, but increasingly it just doesn’t encompass everything that we do.

This content is imported from Twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

Well, what else does Facebook—er, Meta—do, Mark? There’s this thing called the Metaverse. You can glimpse it in the announcement video. It’s our future virtual paradise to where we can escape via an overpriced headset when our planet burns and we have to shelter underground for safety. Don’t worry—you can play games and wear fun hoodies and float in space and contemplate leaving your family forever to hang out with a big robot in the Metaverse! It’s OK. Don’t think about it too much.

“We live for what we’re building,” Zuckerberg added. “And while we make mistakes, we keep learning and building and moving forward.”

If that isn’t accountability for years of dealing with pesky, whistleblowing employees and privacy issues, then I don’t know what is! Anyway. We, the human beings of this doomed Earth, are making memes about the whole thing. And we’re scared. We’re scared and we’re making memes. Here are the best of ’em.

This content is imported from Twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

This content is imported from Twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

This content is imported from Twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

This content is imported from Twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

This content is imported from Twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

This content is imported from Twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

This content is imported from Twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

This content is imported from Twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

This content is imported from Twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

This content is imported from Twitter. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

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